Compare your life with your value system

Do you live according to your value system? Or do you deviate from it here and there? Your value system acts like a compass that guides your life. When you do things that are not according to your life compass, you know that you have a problem. So look for things you consistently do that deviate from your value system. Those are your bad habits. As Muslims, our value system is the Shariah. Any action/s which are contrary to that of the Shariah is evil and Haraam. One should protect oneself from doing acts which go against the dictates of the Shariah and Islam.

Compare your life with a role model

Sometimes it’s easier to compare your life with someone else’s life than to compare it with an abstract value system. So find people whose life you want to emulate and find the details of how they live their life. Is there anything they don’t do that you consistently do? For instance, perhaps they are never late. You, on the other hand, are perpetually late. That’s a bad habit you should stop.

Here are four tips to stop bad habits:

1. Quit feeding the bad habit

There are two “wolves” inside us that fight each other. One wolf represents good habits while the other represents bad habits. Which wolf will win the fight? The answer is the one you feed. So breaking bad habit is actually simple: just stop feeding it. Leave the bad habit starve and you are on your way to get it away from your life.

2. Replace it with a good habit

Quit feeding the bad habit is essential but it’s not enough. You must also replace it with a good habit. Otherwise there is an empty space in your life where the bad habit could go back to anytime.

So develop a good habit to replace the bad habit. For instance, if you have the habit of thinking negative thoughts, you should replace it with the habit of thinking positive thoughts. Whenever negative thoughts come, use it as a trigger to start thinking positive thoughts. Or if you have the habit of eating unhealthy food, you can start developing the habit of eating healthy food. Just don’t leave the space empty.

3. Press past the initial pain and discomfort

When breaking a bad habit, the beginning of the process is the most difficult. Just like getting a space shuttle lifted off the Earth takes enormous amount of power, it also takes enormous amount of willpower to break a bad habit. And just like moving a space shuttle that has escaped the Earth’s gravitational pull takes little energy, it also takes only little amount of willpower to continue doing your new habit.

The initial phase is the most difficult, but it will become easier and easier over time. So whenever you think that it’s too difficult to stay on course, just remember that it won’t be so for long. You just have to keep moving forward.

4. Make “no exceptions” policy

Once you decide to break a bad habit, stick with your decision. Make no exceptions to come back to it for whatever reason. I know it’s not easy (at least for me), but this step is essential if you want the process to get easier over time. Making exceptions is like taking a space shuttle back to Earth; you need another enormous amount of power to lift it off again. So be careful not to make exceptions when you are dealing with bad habits. Never become despondent and lose hope, with determination and courage, we can all reach great heights.

Start With a Stop-Smoking Plan

Pick a day to quit smoking. Having a specific day in mind will help you stick to your goal. One day next month would be best — that will give you enough time to plan for it, but not enough time to talk yourself out of it. Don’t quit smoking during holiday periods or at a time when you can expect a lot of additional stress. Post the date on your calendar, and let family and close co-workers and friends know.

Visit your doctor. Discuss your decision to quit smoking, and ask if nicotine replacement therapy or other medications might help you quit.

Cut back now. In the days leading up to your quit-smoking day, begin cutting back on the number of cigarettes you smoke each day. Try to smoke just half a cigarette when you do light up.

Get smart. Read about what you’ll be going through, especially nicotine withdrawal and the stresses of quitting. Start paying attention to triggers that make you want to smoke. You’ll need to avoid or deal with these triggers once you’ve quit smoking.

Plan substitutes. Stock up on cigarette substitutes like carrot sticks, hard candy, straws, toothpicks, and sugarless gum.

Seek Help and Support to Stop Smoking

Tell family and friends about your quit-smoking day, and ask for their support. Just having someone to talk with can help you during low moments.

Ask those who still smoke not to smoke around you while you’re trying to quit smoking.

Find a support group or a smoking cessation program in your area. Many support groups and social centres offer programs through which smokers can receive help and advice while they’re trying to quit smoking.

Make Your Quit-Smoking Day Special

Don’t smoke at all. Not one puff. This is it!

Get rid of all of your smoking paraphernalia. Toss out your cigarettes, matches, lighters, and ashtrays.

Plan to stay busy all day. Go for a walk or exercise. Go someplace where smoking isn’t allowed, like the library or the movies. Eat foods you don’t normally eat, and take routes you don’t normally take. The idea is to avoid any association with your usual patterns of behavior.

Begin using a nicotine replacement, if you’ve decided that will help you.

Drink lots of water and juice. This will give you something to do and help flush the nicotine out of your body.

Be Prepared to Deal With Smoking Withdrawal Symptoms

As time passes, you’ll need to confront rationalizations. You will come up with reasons to smoke that wouldn’t normally make any sense to you except at this point, when you’re in the middle of a powerful craving. Thoughts like, “Just one to get me through this rough patch” and “I can’t deal with this today, I’ll quit tomorrow” will go through your mind. See these thoughts for what they are, and ignore them. Here’s how:

Avoid situations that trigger the desire to smoke.

Find ways to deal with cravings. Take slow, deep breaths until the craving passes. Drink some water slowly and hold it in your mouth. Munch on carrot sticks or suck some hard candy. Focus on a crossword puzzle. Play with a rubber band.

If nothing else works, just tell yourself to hold off smoking for 10 minutes; often, that will get you past the craving.

Related: Benefits of Breaking the Habit

Maintain Your Resolve, But Be Ready for a Slip

Whenever you feel your resolve weakening, remind yourself of all the benefits of not smoking:

Count the money you’re saving on cigarettes, consider how much better everything tastes and smells, and think about how your secondhand smoke is no longer affecting your family and friends.

Avoid alcohol. Drinking makes it more likely you’ll slide back into smoking.

Eat right and exercise. A healthy diet and an exercise regimen can keep your mind off cravings and draw attention to how much better you feel now that you’ve quit smoking.

Reward yourself. Buy something special with the money you’ve saved on cigarettes.

Quickly regain control if you slip. Slipping is not the same as relapse — it’s just a one-time mistake. You’re still a non-smoker. Rededicate yourself, and use the slip as a learning opportunity by asking yourself what triggered your desire to smoke and what you can do to avoid it in the future.

Quitting smoking is difficult but not impossible. Many have done it before you and had to try a number of times before they were successful. Don’t give up!

” The eyes, ears, hands, feet and all the other limbs of the body are an Amanat (trust) from Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’la). It is necessary that one return all these limbs free from filthy images, Haraam acts, foul language, backbiting, Zina and all other sins since a trust has to be returned as it was in it’s original state”

Hazrath Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb quoted verse 58 of Surah Nisaa. He explained the background of the revelation of the verse and that the verse was revealed whilst Rasullullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam was in the Kaaba Sharif.

He expounded on the different angles of Amanat (trust).

The different limbs of our bodies are also an Amanat. When one returns a hired car, it is examined to check if there was any abuse of the car. Similarly, when we return to Allah, all our limbs will be examined by Allah.

• What we saw with our eyes?
• What we heard with our ears?
• What we spoke with our tongues?

Allah gave us these limbs and organs perfect. We have to return them perfect to Allah. Hear the full talk on : CLICK HERE

The talk was followed by Zikr and Dua made by Hazrath Mawlana Ahmed Chohan Saheb.

 From:

safwaansuleman@gmail.com

Country:

Canada

Question:

I am inclined to take bay’ah at the hands of a certain Shaikh. This Shaikh has ijaaza & khilaafa from one of our pious predecessors and has murideen that are great Ulama and Awliya. However, having a personal relationship with this Shaikh, I have seen him committing some sins. From example, this Shaikh often causes people trouble by accepting invitation, but not arriving on time. Please advise me on what I should do in this case and whether or not to take bay’ah at this Shaikh’s hands.

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu `alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Muhtaram,

You state that you are inclined to taking Bay’at to a particular person but you observe some of his weaknesses, for example not arriving on time for invites.

You should understand that any spiritual guide is a human being and is not free from faults. You will never find anyone who is 100 percent perfect and faultless. If you think can benefit from the Sheikh and reform yourself, then first build a personal contact with him. Refer your issues to him and once you are satisfied, you may then take Bay’at with him. The personal contact may enable you to even see the many hidden positives in the person.

In any event, bear in mind, only prophets are Ma’soom, if sinless. The Awliyaa of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) are generally Mahfooz, saved from sins but not Ma’soom.

And Allah knows best.

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

Dar al- Mahmood

 REF: 029 DMHMD

ADMIN: 00229

DATE: 10/03/2012

 Country:

Qatar

Question:

Assalamualaikum wa rahamatullahi wa barakatuh,

Respected mufti sahib,

I would apologize as this question may not be related to the topic, but I would like to ask if you have any khulafa in qatar, or if you know any good ‘ulemas in qatar, so that I could go and benefit from them.

Jazakallah,

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu `alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Brother in Islam,

We do not have contact with anyone in Qatar. You should identify an Aalim who is known for his Taqwa, piety and righteousness and benefit from his company and knowledge.

Until such time that you do find a Shaykh, you may follow the advices on the following link: http://tasawwuf.daralmahmood.org/how-do-you-know-that-a-shaykh-is-right-for-

And Allah knows best.

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

Dar al- Mahmood

” When times are corrupt, then for the fear of being involved in fitnah and Haram, the adoption of solitude is best.”

(Irshad al- Mulook, Pg.87, YMA)

” The sign of the acceptance  of one’s Tawba (repentance) is forgetting the sin. The sin after repenting no longer dominates the mind. But this forgetting refers to forgetting after Tawba. If one forgets about the sin before Tawba, then it is Ghaflah (negligence/heedlessness)”

(Muslim Way of Life, Pg.19-20, Rightway Publications)

” The lesser  one’s confidence is in one’s Shaykh, the lesser the benefit”

(Muslim Way of Life, Pg. 138, Rightway Publications)